50k winner

50000 words, actually 50,215 words, I am in a mood for celebrating. But reality bites too.  I backed up every word.  The truth is that 50,215 a complete novel, does not make. Now the real work begins, going through and where it is a little thin, reinforce it.  Where it makes no sense or is inconsistent, get common sense and find the details. 


I can't tell you what that will take, but thank you Na No Wri Mo; thank you writing buddies.
Script Frenzy is next in April.  Oh but I am way ahead of my self.  There is more writing and editing with this and this is only 1 book of potentially 5, now, anyone want to publish it, don't be shy put your hand, check off bizarre on the comment box and send me an e-mail.  LOL like that happens to normal people!  Wait a minute I just spent 28 days writing 50,215 words. It has changed my perspective on what is really important.  I had the software open for over 9000 minutes, I guess when you walk away and go on a date with the most beautiful person in the world.  The program keeps on ticking.  Dumb energizer bunny.

This is a new experience and some real vivid and valid observations have resulted, I'll be sharing directly, indirectly and in the details.  Oh boy I am so tired.  Sleep!

Reading, writing and....

I have thought about IT for a while.  I must make shorter titles.  My blog will have shorter titles.  If I don't, then my index looks unreadable and odd.  I feel very tired tonight, wrote 3400+ words for NaNoWriMo.  I have never written that many words in a day.  This month has made me very aware that I am not fit as I need to be to write.  I have sat for long periods and stood for long periods typing, thinking and storytelling.  I can do something about that.  I will do something about my fitness (see fitness blog) Hold me accountable.  As this is the month of many firsts in my writing, I can and will do something about that too.  I also see the importance of reading, I will start and end the day with reading stuff that builds my faith, for in times as such as these when you have nothing else, you have your faith, and all it takes is the mustard seed size to suffice.  How much reading is that.... ah but maybe the practice part grows the seed into something the size of your heart.  I write better in the evenings, but mornings inspire me, a journal, like what I am doing now, will become a daily occurrence, just not in my blog for public consumption.  I will get a routine, my life will not push me around, I am beginning to conduct the instruments that play out in my symphony and discord that makes my life.
I will read other authors works, I will read about writing, I will write... so you see reading, writing and arithmetic as it all adds up. Enough about me and what I want.
I hope to challenge you and me in my blogs, they may or may not reflect my journals, I do have to keep part of me just for me.   Lastly too many people are feeling alone these day wherever you live Germany, Russia, USA, Thailand, Canada and so many others, look around you find a lonely somebody, and make their day.  Just one. It will help.  Then check up on them, if you ever see them again, if it was a random act. Or if you reserved it for somebody close to you must really care for that person, making your self vulnerable and compassionate.
In any case let me know and leave a comment or ....not. 

Do what you love... then share in 25 words or less.

A conversation with the real me.

What do you love to do?  I didn't know what to say.  I did not have "the" answer.
What do you love to do?  I liked running and swimming and biking.  I liked being in shape.
You did not answer the question.  I can't sing on key, er often,  but I love music.  I see beauty every day in everything.  How does that answer the question?  It doesn't, I guess.
I like watching basketball, volleyball,soccer and especially hockey, and football too both CFL and NFL.
That is your answer, you play all those sports? Well?  No I didn't play hockey well, I can't skate, but I was great at shinny or ball hockey. I never played football except flag football.  I played soccer well and coached alot of volleyball trying to give kids a chance to discover what if they are passionate about volleyball. I never got a chance to learn much about basketball - NBA Basketball( Booo strike)  I was too short, too slow, you can't get any points if you are not allowed to touch the ball; let alone, shoot the ball.  The one playoff I remember from Grade 7 that I actually got to play, as one, no two of the starters got hurt and we only had a team of 8 and the other sub, fouled out.

I was able to go in and play and I scored the tying points 13 - 13 and it went to overtime.  I guess we won and then we won again, but then we lost, I did not get to play again, or if I did it didn't matter at that point, I scored a foul shot that tied the game, I also scored a 3 pointer.  I did not love the grade 7 basketball experience, others played it much better.  I am talking grade 7 in a small BC elementary school, c'mon, there were athletes but no basketball players. Track and field yes (but not for me) although I did look at javelin once! Thanks Teresa!

Okay, Okay, what do you love 25 words or less.  I love language, the use of language, how it can, make others feel, make me feel. The sounds the meaning all words accepted. Spoken or Read. Rhythms. Love.

Why?  Any language can do it you do not have to be a super star basketball player to be able to write or read or recite or be poetic with or without rhyme.
Back to beauty? I love to write about beauty, things I have seen or imagined.
That is it then? No but you said 25 words or less.
That was to get you to focus.... you really needed to focus.
You were dancing around the topic and I have seen you ....dance, you can't dance stick
to what you love.  Writing,WRITING, WRITE!!

Yes sir I will.
So I ask you - What do you love? 

Have you ever....

Dreamed.  I mean really dreamed, not the type of manic dream where you win a 30 million dollar jackpot and then you win a 50 million dollar jackpot. No it has not happened to me either yet.  I don't mean bipolar manic. Although there are similarities.  Back to dreaming, about what it would be like to enjoy a bike ride, or a walk with your lover; and every sense you have, gives you messages about that ride or walk. Your hair actually moves when you imagine the wind.  You feel the seat of the bike uncomfortable because of how long you have been riding.  Your ears hear the bike chains, and vehicle, animal and nature's sounds around you. On the walk you feel the frequency of your lover's voice, you feel the gentle pressure and security of holding hands with them. You notice the fragrance, your favorite.  The look from their eyes, tells you their mind is no where else but with you.  Again the warmth of the sunshine, goes beyond skin deep, just as the depth of the relationship is beyond the superficial.

Have you ever had that happen? Beyond a daydream.  Beyond your reality. Nope all is possible in your imagination.  Then take a pen and paper and write the experience and description down, when you see it "happen" slow it   down... how does the jaw move of the person talking, what does their hair do in the wind, was that a seagull, a crow or an eagle flying way over head.... dream... imagine... write... author your life to capture the essence that is joy, which can be shared. Day -  dream,  believe,  follow and the words you write will make sure you have something to come back to......  the start, Have you ever?

Why I like words.... writing and reading and adventure.

I could write, Tonight I took my dog out for it's pee break and it found a skunk instead.

I could say the same thing this way.

Tikka and I went out for a quick break, me from my NaNoWriMo writing and her for a pee break. She was acting quite frantic and I thought it was that she was looking for the best spot to mark.  Really she was tying to locate what she smelled all over the ground.  She went around the corner, as she was on the long leash.  There was growling and hissing and then silence, I came around the corner to see a white and black skunk hissing out of the bush and dog was still staring at it.  I pulled the leash but it was already too late. Before I had rounded the corner the startled skunk had sprayed the offending nose of the offending dog.  My tri-color fox terrier had a 4th color - skunk oil.  Several baths, with her Christmas present (pet shampoo) and a good toweling down, did little to release the oily odor, sigh, my life and house stink right now.... when the smell goes, my life will be once again a bed of roses, watching out for those thorns too!  Until then, she is drying her face and fur off by moving up and down the couch, trying rearrange her fur or buff it to a glossy shine.  The smell is, not as bad as it could have been may it be out of my house and off my dog in a few days......please, prayerfully. Cinnamon oil, vinegar, baking soda and more dog washing and hair trimming are in our future and I am not clairvoyant.  See?

Either works but one allows you to use your senses the other just makes sense.

You're beautiful

"Beauty just is."
I have an 80's wooden plaque with a picture of an ocean somewhere and waves crashing on the rocks, written on the sky in the photo is the quote, "Beauty just is."  I believe it.  So should you. Whoever you are.  I could pick apart the picture. But I won't. The quote was given credit to anonymous.  Deservedly so.  Anyone anywhere at anytime can recognize beauty.  There is lacquer over it to protect it. The lacquer makes it shine. I find that part ironic, protecting the beauty from spills, unkind graffiti, from the ugly thing that might happen to it.

That might mar the beauty.  It is not an easily recognizable coastline, not a celebrity coastline or a model coastline or a physically outstanding coastline, no archways of rocks or large rocks that have stood the test of time and erosion and wind and well, pollution. "Beauty just is" so accept your beauty.  I am not talking to your cat or my dog, the aquarium or the stable full of horses, all those animals do not measure life in terms of beauty, only we, humans do.  Animals do not judge anything on the basis of beauty, smell maybe, not necessarily good smells but strong smells, even odors.

Only we humans; also decry, put down, use the word ugly and write each other off for not being beautiful.
But "beauty just is", beauty just is. Period. If you are talking about a piece d'art and you are going to shell out cash, make sure you buy something significantly important to you and beautiful. As a another human being.  You have not the right or responsibility to say that someone is not beautiful.  I do not think there is one person with the wisdom, alive to recognize what makes each of us beautiful. I was a coach and we learned to teach skills part-whole method or whole-part method.  If you read into it a little, you either break a skill down to its' simplest part and reassemble it to a more successful WHOLE or you complete the whole skill and only correct the PARTS which are not up to snuff.  Beauty just is, no parts, no assembly required, accept it, accept one another.

I know there are those that already get it.  I don't want them to read this. They don't need to. I want the bully to read this, out loud.  I want the spouse whose greatest entertainment is how embarrassed a spouse can be made to feel in front of others, by comments on physicality that are made with no remorse, followed by JUST JOKING. Beauty JUST IS. You might not get it, yet. Keep rolling it thru your mind, a beautiful surprise awaits you.  Meditate on it.  Meditate on not the author of the quote, he is anonymous, but the Creator of beauty is not, recognize how much beauty you have missed your whole life, you can change, just as beauty is, you'll figure it out.   I know I am naive, so don't let your self down, surprise me.  Be surprised, as this revelation once understood, will change your perspective on life,  after all you're beautiful too.

Fall and falling

Shame on me.  I did not move to help her.  I was at Starbucks, with my computer, it was on Oak Street.  I saw her come into the store. She moved quickly and purposefully to the bathroom.  When she came out she went in line, bought a newspaper and her tea or coffee.  She was in a rush, I could see it in the way she moved.  I do not know her name or I might use it (only her first name).  I saw her look both ways, and then step around the first car parked on the corner on her way to hers, it turned out to be the third one down.

These streets here are narrower and only one car can travel at a time as, they use both sides for parking. She went to step around and I think she stepped on her own heel, because the next thing I saw was the bottom of her shoes, the souls stared right at me, I was the only one who saw.  A few moments later she got up and did not look around but immediately went to her car - ashamed? embarrassed? hurt?; I will never know as I did not go out to find out, to offer her a hand, to buy her a replacement coffee.

I failed her. She went and sat down in her car. It was a long two minutes before she started the car and carefully drove into the lane from her parking spot. She still had her newspaper, but I think her self-esteem poured out of her, just like the hot liquid did from her cup.  She broke her fall somehow, probably used her hands and discarded the cup which then splashed the hot contents to the pavement, where her pride hit hard.

I could not see if she was hurt, she moved to her car quick enough. I did not see any blood, not that she would have turned this way or that but made a beeline for her car.  To be comforted by the shelter of her car.  Maybe she thought people would laugh or point, if she looked around.  She still had her newspaper and after a couple of minutes to compose herself, she drove off. Injured somehow I am sure, after all she fell, it hurt and she was alone.

I would act differently, if it happened again; I would try to get to her to pick her up, failing that, I would pick up her newspaper and shattered cup, failing that, I would bring napkins to let her sponge off, catch blood or tears if they were shed, failing that I would make sure she was okay to drive and offer to replace her coffee, failing that, maybe invite her to come back in and sit down, for just a moment, failing all of that: is exactly what I did.

I do not know who she was, but I want to say I am sorry for thinking about my computer sitting vulnerable in a public place when she lay vulnerable in a public thoroughfare.  It could have been worse.
But it was bad enough.