I and my family have lived in this community for just over 10 years. We moved from a more rural town to here. That was July 2001. We used the time to get familiar with the big city, get our three kids registered for school. My wife and I were getting used to the new job locations but for the same company. Then September 11th happened.
I don't know if it was because of the many governments reactions. I don't know if it was the conspiracy theorist inside me. I don't know if it was the fact that I had a young family that I was trying help understand what had just happened. I was not afraid, that it would happen out west, no it was more insidious than that. I began to wonder when IT would happen again. And again.
I began to read news headlines on the TV. Watching morning news, evening news and late evening news, for more than just the sports wrap-ups. I began going to my favorite web news site. Several times in a few short hours. I would check other news websites when my Canadian one let me down by not, seeming to update theirs fast enough. This went on for years. I lost sleep. I was not alone in this.
New Yorkers are changed, maybe forever. I have heard they are kinder to one another, as well as not trusting those they do not know or recognize from their part of the city, their neighborhood, their street. Do they check the news as often as I did. I did not have the latest phone technologies and over 10 years we all know what a change has occurred; to both accessibility to the world from your hip or the object that when it is not in your hand it is in a back pocket. Thank God, I could not afford to keep up, I would have.
America changed. For me, the sake of the most up to date headline - looking for the one to confirm my suspicions. IT had happened again somewhere else, IT was not stopped, again. Why did God let it all crumble? Surely there had to be an answer by watching more news staying up with all the latest headlines....... or was there any rational thought behind my ongoing disability. I was not able to turn off this thirst for the negative. Time passed.
I am not alone in this. I do not have to watch the news anymore, in fact only in the last 4 months, I have been able to choose to NOT watch the am news or the evening news and I am asleep or in bed (our bedroom does not have a TV); reading or writing or stumbling (those of you that STUMBLE, will know what I am talking about) For the others www.stumbleupon.com.; caution it may be addictive.
As we come to the 10th anniversary, 1 of my boys is married. He has turned out to be a very positive contributor to society. He was the one that came up the stairs and loudly said, "Dad, you have got to see this.", on that September morn, on the west coast. The other two live at home and work and have a life, each. Whatever happened on the East coast that morning has not scarred, the two of them, well not noticeably.
God is as strong as ever in my heart, my mind and He is the lover of my soul. The cost of an "act of terrorism" has gone way beyond the context of the events that day. Do we all see that? I do not know. I am not trying to belittle the towers, nor the many lives impacted; both dead and alive. All of those directly impacted have demonstrated more courage than I thought possible. There is no doubt we are meant to learn something; whether it is, Evil is still Evil, or men make bad choices when they have positions of power, or that we are souls with a body, wanting community, wondering why it takes so long to get to where we are supposed be. God is not just mine, not just a select few, not just for one side or the other; spectrum of faith, or the "other side", not just for those say the right words but act in the wrong spirit. Acts with out love.
What I want to remember and make sure EVERYONE remembers, is that a relationship with anyone takes a lot of effort if you mean it. That LOVE, is more than an emotion, it is a commitment, with no conditions.
The wars that ensued, have cost many more the loved ones, they held dear. May Heaven be their reward and may they wear a crown of glory for their sacrifice. The world has suffered financially, but the greater loss is not just freedom, but to be free without fear, to breath in and out slowly, without fear.
Finding peace, might replace fear for some, finding God might do the same for others. You can do more on this 10th anniversary by showing love to those; the love that has no conditions, to those who you are in community with. The challenge going forward is to expand that community, like those in Gander did, that day. Opening a door; is like opening your heart, especially if it is your home, to someone you do not fully yet know. LOVE EVERYONE. Leave the rest up to God. We are not alone in this.
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