Denise went in and stood back; as to not be apart of the line or not be like a cork in the narrowing space, trapped. A man waited to the side while she took her place in line. He looked at here and kept his distance, trying not to look at her patchwork coat. Her scarf blazing bold and bright with colour. Her gray brown hair which randomly found their way out and around the scarf. She followed, the others and listened to what they were ordering. It was very foreign, the only words she recognized were "coffee" or "tea" and as many variations she could imagine. As she got to the till. She tried to open the cup, unsuccessfully. She handed the shinny mug to the cashier. The Barista, then said, "please remove the lid." " I can't " she mumbled, not making eye contact.
There was an awkward moment as the Barista looked at Denise, she looked toward the outside for an escape route, and the man behind her looked at the mug saying "can I try?" The cashier and Barista both said, "Thanks." Denise barely made an attempt at eye contact and move her weather worn lips, mouthing, "thanks". The lid was off and the barista said, "Bold or Medium," Denise had no idea how she was going to pay and said, "Bold, please". The looking inside the cup as he spoke there was a plastic card, "Good place to keep your gold card, Denise."
Denise was gobsmacked. She could not speak. There were no words, mumbled or otherwise that fit what was happening, in that moment. "Would you like your receipt with your balance, Denise?" As she reached for the card the receipt and the coffee mug and lid, she mumbled "Yes, please." Weakness filled her legs, her knees buckled only a little, placing one hand on the counter to brace her self, she blew out deeply, knowing that air would come rushing into her lungs to refill that void. She saws stars for only a moment. "Where is a chair?" she asked quite clearly. "Look around" the barista was looking at the next guest. The gentleman was no longer behind her. The focus was off Denise now, so she turned to look across the coffee shop. There in the corner of the bookstore, was the man form behind her. He was waving for her to come over there and pointing at a chair with two arms. He had found her a chair.
She looked at his chin, saying "thank you". "No problem" came the reply. "I'll be right back, with your coffee." Soon she settled with her chair facing a bookcase with more books than she can remember seeing, she used to read much. Like her life those days were in the past. Too far distant to help her now. She picked up and flipped through book after book, sipping her coffee in small amounts, just as she was taking only glimpses of the bright pictures and reading a few lines here and there, she paused for a moment,
not daring to listen to the thought trumpeting loudly. "I sure could get used to this!"
That was it, the moment was gone, she left the chair without to much fuss, and walked along the shelves which aimed in the general direction of the door, the way out her escape, coffee cup in hand. Gold card with her name on it in an inside pocket over her heart. She had for but a moment met her Happy, and she hoped too, once again. For now she needed fresh air, the outdoors, any air, before she could not breath, before her fear paralyzed her. She had gambled this time, and she had won a tidy sum. Yet there was so much mystery, that she did not know the answers too, again the wave of fear pushed her toward the ground, stopping her in her tracks...... so she quickly found the only bench on this side of the park, and sat right in the middle of it, like a stanchion, that had found the support it had needed, and it took her breath away.
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